Bible Reading: Job 34; James 5:1-10.
“Grudge not one against another, brethren, lest ye be condemned: behold, the judge standeth before the door.” – James 5:9 (KJV).
A Grudge is defined as a persistent feeling of ill will or resentment resulting from a past insult or injury. Most of us have held grudges against others in the past and have various reasons for holding such. Some of the common reasons why people hold grudges include: Misunderstanding and assumptions; where you erroneously assume that people have bad intentions towards you when that is not the case. This leads to projection of negative intentions to others. A second reason is Unrealistic expectation; sometimes we have very high expectations of others and when it is not fulfilled, we become disenchanted or even insulted! The third reason is feeling left out; when you feel used or ignored and project your annoyance towards the one you believe was responsible. Another common reason is Envy; When you become jealous of someone’s achievement or position. It leads to grudges. And lastly is Hurt; this is a major cause of grudges. Where someone hurts you and you find it difficult to let go.
In all these cases, one thing is common, the person holding the grudge is the victim of his/ her grudges as the other party may not even know you are holding grudges against him/her. Such grudges often lead to pain as you find out that you feel sad, disturbed or in extreme cases sick whenever you remember the situation or the person who caused the grudge. In most cases, such grudges affect your health negatively and even your spiritual being. The grudge can prevent your prayers from being answered. Sometime ago, we engaged a man in one of our companies as the Managing Director and we entrusted him with everything concerning the company with the hope that he would produce great returns on investment for us. However we saw that he was interested in working to reduce our interest in the company while trying to get his people to be the majority shareholder. It got to a stage that I felt so bad may be because I introduced him to the company and that his attitude was far from my expectation. I noticed later that I was becoming bitter towards him and this was affecting my prayer life. The bible says in James 5:9 9 (KJV) “Grudge not one against another, brethren, lest ye be condemned: behold, the judge standeth before the door.”
So I decided to pray for him asking God to forgive him and bless him. Within a few days, I had “lost” the grudge I held concerning him. And of course, I had my prayer life back on track!
So in examining why we hold on to grudges, one major issue is SELF. Holding grudge against anyone is because Self has been offended! So we need to die to self. Put the ego aside and focus on your relationship with Christ noting that nothing is worth losing the relationship between you and your God for! Once you note that, the next level is for you to pray for that person who brought about the grudge. Ask for God’s mercy for him, consciously forgive him/her, ask for Gods mercy for yourself and ask God to bless him.
When you do these a few times, you will naturally let go of the grudges and you will be amazed how lines will also fall,in pleasant paces for you.
Action Point:
Examine yourself to note anybody you are holding grudges against. Forgive him/her and continuously pray for the good of that person until you let go of the grudge.
Bro. Biodun Oyapero